The 10 days I was Missing

I thought about doing a 10 of Marci too, but I think I'll sort of sprinkle them in. If I tossed them at you all at once they might make your head hurt! You would probably just think I was a bit loony, or you'd simply be bored by my ramblings. So tonight, I bring you the first of My own 10 things you missed...

Sunday, April 20th I was blog hopping. Shocked, aren't you? Up in the corner of a random blog I noticed this link to a writing contest at an online Christian Magazine. I was oddly drawn to it. I clicked, I couldn't help myself. When I reached their sight I read the rules of the contest called "Her Life Reflected". The editor was looking for essays of 1000 words or less telling how your mother or a mother you know reflected Christ's love in their lives. The deadline for this contest was midnight Monday April 21st. The winner would be posted at the magazine on Mother's Day and would receive and small prize package. I thought, hmm, I have a mom I could write about, but there is no way I could do it that fast. It sat with me, in a strange, unsettling way.

The next morning was my mom's first day back to work. She was really on my mind as I was in the shower getting ready for an early appointment that day. I prayed and then somehow I just couldn't seem to stop the flood of words that were running down as fast as the water from the shower head. I finished showering, dried off and grabbed my journal. The sun was bright, Dax was playing happily in the back and Finn was still sleeping. I laid down on my bed, put the pen to the paper and the words just flowed. I knew mom would be about ready to start her school day and I think these words at my fingertips were, in a way, a prayer for her.

When Mike came home from work, I handed him the typed version of my essay and asked him to proof it. He was a bit surprised. You see, once upon a time I fancied myself a writer. I even thought that one day I would be known for the children's books I penned. Or maybe I would finally stop worrying about my mom reading me write about grown up topics and write those novels that had been swimming in my head for years. I have characters in my head. They used to run so rampant that I thought they'd just jump out one day. My Dad used to give me all kinds of grief about the paper I was wasting writing down all those names. I didn't know how to tell him that those names were of the characters that were roaming in my imagination. Maybe better I didn't, because I'm sure he might have thought I'd lost it, which may be what you're thinking right now! Ok, moving on! So, even though you probably can't tell by the amazing linguistic prose of my blogging, the point of this paragraph is that I once thought writing might be my life's passion. Mike was impressed I was actually going to submit something. He actually said he was proud of me. I was taken back by the fact that he felt that way.

At 11:00 pm I submitted my essay. But, it somehow managed to get held up in Outlook jail. I realized this a week ago after waiting patiently for my confirmation letter. In the end because Outlook sent it two weeks late I wrote an explanation letter to the girls at the magazine and let them know I by no means expected it to be considered for the contest. It was a computer glitch that kept it from getting in, but in all honesty I don't think the contest was my reason for writing. I think God was awakening something deep inside of me. He gave me the words to remind me how it felt to put that pen to the paper, maybe to help me release some of my thoughts and grief as well.

Tonight over at Christian Women Online the winner was announced and you may have guessed, it was not me. I am not even slightly upset about this. I read the winner's story, you can too http://www.christianwomenonline.net/HerLifeReflected.html. The story was nice, but the woman the story was about is the real story. After reading the winning essay I linked to her blog http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/. What an amazing story, what beautiful faith. Take your tissues, you'll need them! It was a blessing to find her blog.

As for my essay, I thought it was fitting that I share it with you on Mother's Day. So, good or bad it seems it would be a shame if no one ever laid eyes on it.

Mom, I'm sorry if it's hard to read, know I love you and am so grateful for all you are.