So I'm thinking Christmas should be wrapping up soon...but really it is my favorite time of the year. I love all the anticipation, the music, the lights, the smells, the love. We start it a month before; why not hold onto it for a month after? Who knows when we'll take the outside lights down. Do we really need to? What does it hurt to keep them up year round just knowing that with the flip of a switch the best season of the year returns? I'm thinking this year, we might just leave them up!
The day after Christmas this year was our day to gather with Mike's family at his grandparent’s somewhere in the hills of southeast Ohio. Lily did lots of the picture taking this year, as well as some rather...um....interesting videography from the drive. I thought it would be fun to highlight some of her work.
The highlight of this gathering is getting to see everyone, even if it is for just a short period of time. Mike's grandparents are amazing people. What I have always loved most about them is their humor and their love for each other. They for years have illustrated to me what a lifelong marriage looks like. Their laughter, love, and silly flirtations with each other have made me laugh and warmed my heart. I feel blessed to have been brought into their family. I wish we could see them more than once a year. When we were closer it was a bit more often, but still not often enough. It's amazing how over the years the numbers have grown, the house, however, has not and although it's a little tight, and a bit warm, there is still always laughter.
This year we attempted to put together a family photograph. The last time this was done the family consisted of Mike's grandparents, his parents, his aunt & uncle, Mike, his brother Jeff, and his two cousins. This time we added two granddaughter in laws and six great grandchildren. We had to do this inside do to the weather and health issues. Jeff brought his tripod and I brought my camera & flash. Between the two of us we figured out how to use my timer (something I never use!) and figured out the best angles and lighting available with everyone in a small space. And then we began to shoot....
We did it! We actually have one shot where 17 out of 18 people are looking at the camera with open eyes and fairly pleasant faces. I'm trying to figure out if I can cut and place my sweet little niece, Allie, in from another shot. It seems as if when I was behind the camera, she'd look at it, but when I'd run into the picture she'd turn her head to watch me. So we have cute picture of Allie without me in them....I'm not sure if that is such an issue, I like being behind the camera rather than in front anyway! =)
I'm excited that I was asked to do this, that the parties were all willing. Even if it is not perfect, it is real! What a wonderful gift for our children to have!
So I left you a while back with part 2. I think it is time that I pick up and get this whole Christmas thing moving, it is almost Valentine's day for goodness sake! Although it seems fitting to tell you about the best gifts one month to the day later, right? Well, I guess if it couldn't actually be that day it's better than not sharing at all!
The very first best gift happened Christmas Eve. After the saga of part 2 we walked into my mom's house and this was the scene...
Normal. It was in fact Christmas Eve. Letters to Santa were written, cookies were left, hot chocolate was had, books were read, food was sprinkled in the snow for the reindeer. All the traditions of our Christmas Eve, sometimes normal is the best gift!
Christmas morning arrived like those before, pajama clad little children checking out the special gifts left by Santa in their beds and in front of the tree. Laughter and quite squeals, lots of pictures being taken by the newest person to receive a camera, this year it was Lily...so I took a little picture taking hiatus!
Traditions. These too can be the best gifts. Knowing how the morning would go, that some things never change. Breakfast in the dining room with the good dishes. The same breakfast that has been served on Christmas morning since I can remember, and probably since my mom can remember.
Moving on to the wrapped gifts...
Finn might have said this was his favorite gift. He did jump up and down and yell "leapster! Own leapster, I got own leapster!"
Dax might have said his favorite gift was this water squirting, fluff eating friend who scared the jolly right out of his little brother, not to mention the dogs!
Speaking of the dogs, they might have mentioned this fluff filled friend as their favorite gift...
Even common gifts can be the best presents in our family when we compete for the creative wrapping award. Dosh has always been a genius in this area. Sometimes when I have a rather mundane gift, I hand it off to him to wrap and voila you have an intriguing gift. These beauties won hands down this year. One was for Mike, one for Ryan, from Dosh...any guesses?
As the hoopla was starting to fade and the kids were starting to open more and more things, playing with new toys, the last gift was handed to my mom. I think I must have been answering someone's question or maybe opening something for someone at the time, because although I was watching, I wasn't totally aware of what it was. I saw it was a frame and then heard Dax's little voice ask "why is my Nana crying??"
Ryan reached over and hit a button on the cd player and this began to play...
Honestly it was like last year's surprise proposal all over again! I couldn't get up fast enough to hug Carly...there was even a bit of disbelief. Tears filled the room.
Ryan and Carly have struggled. They have longed for a baby for a long while. Carly, like me, knew from the time she was a little girl that she wanted nothing as much as she wanted to be a mom. We have prayed for them for a long long time. I remember being a bit nervous to tell her of my pregnancy with Finn, because I didn't want to hurt her. She and Ryan have been such a huge part of my children's lives and I am so incredibly grateful that God's timing is impeccable and even in the waiting there is grace. Standing in a little local shop the week before Christmas I felt compelled to buy another little gift for Carly. Something about it brought tears to my eyes when I thought of her and Ryan. It was a simple little plaque that said For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.
Last Christmas I read this and I ached for Carly. I knew one day, one day the timing would be perfect and she would understand. I saw this sweet kindergarten teacher's spirit shaking as she dealt day after day with children from families who didn't know what longing for a child was like. I watched as her heart broke watching pregnant mothers and strollers fill ever corner of the Indianapolis Children's Museum last year on our mini vacation. I heard it in her voice as she talked about the county fair and the wagon loads of children whose parents might not have even noticed if one had gone missing. I ached for her because I had been there. But I knew. I knew that God's timing was impeccable, even if I didn't know it when I was there and there was no way for me to tell her with words, they just seemed so trite.
Christmas morning, Ryan and Carly saved the best gift for last. It was beautiful. It was not theirs alone. It is God's. And it is all of ours. He continues to bless our family through even the roughest times. The beauty that comes is incredible and it is so filled with grace.
Since Ryan and Carly's big news every time I hear this song my eyes well up with tears and I know it's meant for them. Thank you for sharing your joy with all of us.
Part of this was originally posted January 14, 2009
January 14, 1990 This guy I had been friends with for a very long time who had dated several of my girlfriends and had actually only stopped dating my oldest friend weeks before, asked me to "go with him". I was a sophomore in high school. He was a Freshman. That morning at Sunday school I had walked around the corner and caught him kissing yet another girlfriend of mine...I was hesitant, yet naive and trusting and I couldn't resist his charms. Later that night after youth group, I had my first kiss...I almost threw up.
January 14, 1993 I was a freshman in College. That guy, he was a senior in high school. We'd dated 3 years. Many seemed surprised that we'd made it so long. We wrote lots of notes, talked for long periods on the phone, and spent most free time together. We also shared most of the same friends and the same amazing youth group. We had no doubt we were in it for the long haul. We went to dinner at a very nice restaurant but opted for deep dish pizza to celebrate our third anniversary. Sometime during dinner that night He opened a ring box and slid it across the table. I just smiled. Our waitress (a girl we went to school with) shrieked and seemed more excited than we did!
Truth be told...only a few close friends know this truth...Mike had proposed to me one day in October. I was home sick from school. He rode his bike over after school...this was forbidden, but we're married now, so does it matter? I was in bed, looking and feeling like death. He told me he wanted to be with me forever. This is real love. I said yes then.
The official engagement with ring and public announcement was the night over pizza.
January 14, 1995 Show tunes from Phantom of the Opera, Pippin, and Les Mis drifted from the piano welcoming people into the church. My baby brother lit the family candle to this song ...
Our brothers Ryan and Jeff escorted our Moms in to a slightly more up tempo version of this song...
My dad held my arm and walked me down the isle to Canon in D. He cried. I cried. After the ceremony he stood up to kiss me on my way back down the isle...I really wasn't sure what he was doing. I miss him.
During the ceremony there were three songs. One was written by a good friend of ours who happened to be both of our gifted teacher growing up as well as the church choir director and the high school theater director. We felt honored that he he not only let us use his song but sang it for out wedding.
There were the other songs, sang by close friends, although I couldn't find a great version by Geoff Moore and Steven Curtis Chapman, here is one of my favorites...
We left the church to a loud and beautiful burst of music that went something like this...
One of my bridesmaid's families owned a florist. She had been saving rose petals for weeks. We packed cones with them before the wedding and they filled the air as we made our way through the rainy, warm, January night.
The reception was filled with dancing and fun. Young children drinking from the champaign fountain...not knowing there was anything "grown up" up in there. There was a minor punch on wedding dress moment, and believe it or not, my little brother (who had been drinking from the for mentioned punch bowl) was actually to blame, not me! We danced and laughed and had a wonderful night.
We started the night and ended it to a song that was and still is "ours". Pick that song careful girls, it can carry you through all sorts of things! Big hair and all can't ruin that!
For some reason this song has had it's embedding disabled..go figure!
***update***
Since last year's post, they have added an embeddable official video...I guess they figured they really weren't making big bucks keeping this one from people!
January 14, 2009 19 years since that first kiss, 16 since the fancy pizza dinner, and 14 since we shared all that music with those we love. Lily says it's our "Golden" aniversay since it's 14th on the 14th. Whatever it is, all the music still fits and it still makes me a cry. So many years. So many people. I still wouldn't change a thing. I love you...
January 14, 2010 20 years together. Another year of chaos and wonder. Another year of gratitude. Here I sit at this kitchen table watching little boys play, waiting for a not so little girl to come home from school, feeling so blessed that God put Mike into my world when I was so young. We have grown together in so many ways, but when I hear that song, I still feel 15 somewhere in a little part of my heart and I can't help smile at all that big hair, big glasses, and mixed tapes full of meaningful lyrics and love.
For our 15th anniversary we might not have made it back to that beautiful place in Savannah we spent our honeymoon, nor some grandiose trip to Hawaii, be we had a few hours alone togther to laugh and love and remember just how much we like each other, even(or maybe especially!) when there is no one else around!
Here are a few picture from the beautiful place we escaped to for the night last weekend. It's only 10 minutes down the road, but it was like a whole different world! Hopefully we'll get back there soon!
living room
bathroom goodies and rose petals =)
beautiful bedroom
skyline view from the bedroom
outside our door
the hotel
A little visit to the "manager's reception"
I opened my eyes as the sun was rising, crept out of bed to get my camera, climbed back in and took this...
view when I was waking up for real
The cute little cafe in the lobby was a great place to stop before leaving...I was thinking of some of my girls when I had my chai! =)
It's been a long time since a certain someone (or anyone!) brought me my favorite peach roses. I loved that they were there waiting for me in the room when I walked in. I love too that a certain person made the reservations and stopped in to make sure the room was just right before coming home to get me. I kind of love that certain person, just as much as I did 15 years ago and far more than I could have ever imagined 20 years ago, standing outside of church after youth group was over! =)
We're skipping ahead to today at our house, because it is totally Christmas connected, we'll go back tomorrow!
This is my son...
He solidified this in Wal-Mart today when challenged with spending his Christmas money.
Thanks to Grandma's Christmas money, a Wal-Mart gift card from the return of one of our two Up movies, a credit for a clothing item that still needs to be returned, and a few dollars from me in payment for the pure joy of watching the negotiations, we have a new family member...
If you are into preschool boys, then you are probably aware that this guy is Spike, the Ultra (or Ultimate, as Dax calls him) Dinosaur. Spike is a little creature who walks, lights up, roars, carries a bone, tosses a ball, stands on his hind legs, laughs, snores, swallows, sneezes, and best of all, burps. He has lifted doll cradles, chased Lily, and roared at the dog. This delightful guy retails for $140. If you think I paid that kind of $$ for him, you don't know me very well.
We headed to Wal-Mart, $10 bills in hand, gift card tucked in pocket, so that the boys could spend their Christmas money. This is a big deal. I'm not the kind of parent who buys trinkets for no reason, or uses bribery of the toy variety to get my way. The only time my kids ever get to go into a store and buy something of their choosing is when they have Christmas or Birthday money. Usually I try to get them to make practical choices. Today we were planning to use the gift card for a leapster case that would hold both boys games. However, they were out of them. What we did find was the beginning of Wal-Mart’s toy clearance. There were lots of 50% deals. The boys knew they could buy one thing or a combination of things adding up to about $10. They also knew that if they found something big that they really wanted they could put all the money together for one big item. They walked hand in hand, holding onto the cart, couldn't have been acting nicer (I guess the idea of buying toys can do that to them!). They put several things in the cart, discussing the merits of each as it went in.
And then it happened....Dax saw it...the one and only one on the shelf, price tag reading clearance $59.50.
Jumping up and down, Dax exclaimed, "Mom! Finny! Mom! Look, Look! It's Spike! Spike the Ultimate Dinosaur! I want him! I want him! Mom, can I buy him? "
I already knew there were no leapster cases. I also knew that Spike is usually $80 more. I did the math in my head and figured the boys had somewhere in the neighborhood of $52ish between them. I also had it pass through my mind that if it turns out to be horrible I could probably sell in on Craigslist for more. Funny how your (or mine, as the case may be!) brain works...I looked at him and responded "Well, it would be up to Finn. We can put it in the cart and take everything back to the price scanner and make some decisions."
Then it began, "Finny, don't you want this big dinosaur? It is really cool, just like on the planet hero’s video. Oh Finny, it would be so cool. It's Spike, Finny, don't you want him? Don’t you?"
By this time Finn had his heart set on a Thomas the Train ball and several other things we stashed in the cart. We headed back to the price checker and started sorting our options.
Finn was all about the more things the better. Dax, it seems has outgrown this. He was really looking at a big transformer, and asked if he chose that could he maybe get Spike for his birthday? Or if he got Spike, could he have the transformer for his birthday? I told him that mat be possible, but Spike was a one day only opportunity, I would not be paying full price for that. The negotiations were held on the floor next to the price checker (I apologize to anyone needed to use it for those 10 minutes).
The outcome? Well, obviously you've seen the pictures, you know Spike came home, but so did the $1.50 Thomas the Train Ball, paid for by Dax with money from his piggy bank. Sometimes, you just have to figure out how to get someone what he wants so he'll swing his vote your way. I know he's my son, because he got a great deal, but I'm wondering if Dax may have a future in politics....I probably should start praying now!
When we left for Ohio at about 4:30 on Wednesday the 23rd we were packed to the gills in this...
When we returned from Ohio at 6:00 on Sunday the 3rd we were packed to the gills in this…
I had been to the doctor to rule out a blood clot in my foot/leg but was told instead it was tendonitis and I would need a boot. This boot was hard to come by, at least somewhere that it might be covered by insurance. I made tons of calls, and was really frustrated with the whole situation. Mike had gotten up and gone into work early so that we could get out of town earlier. He came home and packed the van while I continued to make phone calls and whine. We finally threw in the towel and headed to the city to the west of us, to the hospital the furthest from our house to get the silly thing. This little jaunt would add an hour onto our journey, and have me not feeling overly Christmassy. Once we passed by our town for the second time and were officially "on the road" I apologized to everyone for my crabbiness, grabbed my blankie, made sure the kids had theirs and snuggled in for the long ride. It was perfect for a nap, the day had been crazy, the car was warm, the music was Christmassy, the kids were quietly drifting off, the night was dark and the rain was steady.
I remember hearing the feel and sound of the rumble strip. I remember hearing Mike's voice. I remember feeling as if the whole van would flip over and consciously thinking "please, don't flip", then a loud gnashing crunch. Seconds. Before I opened my eyes I remember thinking, ok, we'll just get back on the road and keep going. When I opened them I realized that wouldn't be happening, the airbags were hanging out...yet I don't even remember them coming out. Mike might. His face and chest became quite close with the airbag. It hit me then that the kids were with us. I turned, Lily was looking for her glasses, she was panicking a little, really just asking all the questions running through my mind, "What will we do?" "It's going to be Christmas Eve, how will we get to Nana's?" "Where are we?" "What happened?" "Sophie, is Sophie ok"? Finn sat staring at me with big eyes, I asked if he was ok, he shook his head, and then started to talk too. Dax had his eyes closed, I panicked a little and started calling for him in a more demanding voice, he opened his eyes and smiled. When I asked if he was ok, he responded with his most common phrase "I'm hungry." I started to breathe again. We found some cookies that had been in a Rubbermaid container that flew through the car and whacked Sophie on the head. Sophie, who had also been asleep seemed to be a little sore, but bounced back quickly.
While I was taking inventory of the occupants, Mike had jumped out to see what the situation was and to talk with a kind stranger who had stopped to help. The kindness of strangers...isn't that what it's really about? He was around our parents’ age. He told us his daughter was on her way from Pennsylvania. He had parked his vehicle between ours and the road, he called 911, and he stayed by our side until the police and the paramedics had arrived. When they made it, he came to my side of the car gave me his card and told me if there was anything he could do, please call him. Thank you, Jerry, you were one of God's human angels that night. A dad figure standing between us and oncoming traffic, making the wait with us. I'm sure he didn't set out that night to be used in such a way, but even if his presence seemed insignificant to him, it was not to us.
A couple of nice police officers drove us to the next town to spend the night at a hotel. Not exactly in the plan, but a special treat for my boys who thanks to their car seats had not a bump, bruise, or scrape and were feeling mighty fine. Finn jumped right in the "cage" stuck his head through the "window" and asked the officer, "do you have any friends?" this was followed by Dax stating "I like your little TV". Good thing our officer was young, kind, and liked dogs. He took the time to show Finn pictures of his dogs and even offered to help us sneak the dog into the hotel if we couldn't find one that would take her.
Once settled Lily was the best child anyone could have ordered up. She just shined. She was fetching, running, chasing, serving, nurturing, and loving. She had some minor seatbelt bruising but said it wasn't hurting. Mike and I were hurting, the boys were bouncing and she was such a blessing to all of us.
The evening was filled with phone calls and attempts to come up with a new game plan. Word to the wise, make sure you have a rental rider on your insurance. It is not an expensive addition and it will cover the cost of hotels, out of pocket expenses, and $1000 car rentals...lets just say we were not prepared for that kind of car rental expense and are so incredibly blessed that my brothers were up for a challenge. Ryan loaned us his van, Dosh and Jessy loaded up at the crack of dawn Christmas Eve morning and drove the 3 1/2 hours to rescue us. We are also grateful for those friends back at home who were standing by as a backup ready to drive to Danville and loan us their van. Thank you, Sarah, it's moments like those when you remember how God has blessed you with great friends!
Jessy sat scrunched in the back seat with Lily and Dax...God love that girl! Dosh helped Mike unload our van and move it into Ryan’s. He had even thought enough ahead to stop and buy a roof top carrier on the way so we could fit everything in. He also brought with him some ibuprofen, Neosporin, and some medic/emt perspective on just how blessed we were. He shared with us two things...one if we hadn't hit the drainage culvert in the median, he thinks we would have ended up in oncoming traffic, and two...he has seen this accident before with four family members in the vehicle, none of them in seatbelts, only the driver made it out alive.
Blessed. Again. On a logical level I understood this, even right after the crash. On an emotional level it has taken me more time. Last night at youth group, it all swirled around and landed on me emotionally. I had been worried that although I knew God was there, I knew he protected us, I knew it could have all been different, I didn't feel it yet. It was still just this annoyance, this hiccup that interrupted our Christmas. Last night I talked to a new friend about her little boy who was turning 1 today. And I remembered. One year ago today I was in the same place I was on the 23rd, in God's arms. Not just in a philosophical place knowing that God was there...I was in his arms. My family was being held. Loved. Blessed. Again. And I wonder what He has in store for me. He keeps coming to my rescue, in little ways every day and in big ways, really big ways. Last night at youth we sang this song the words resonated through me, and I praised Him for letting me feel Him there, letting me know that My God saved the day.
We then moved on to this song and I smiled a bit through the tears. This song always seems to come at just the moment that I need to know that both my heavenly father and my earthly father are somewhere watching over me.
Today I'm taking a little time to think about the anniversary of this little life that was part of our family for 5 weeks and 3 days, but only one of those days did we even know of his/her presence, such a very short time, yet still for that moment and all the moments after they in some way shaped our lives and our family. I'm taking time to think about how incredibly grateful I am to have each day with my beautiful children who are here with me and with my husband and my family. How grateful I am that He would swoop down and hold me in His hands, that I can feel Him there in the music, see him in the faces of those I love, and know that he has great plans for our family "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. And oh how he loves us...there is so much more to come!
There was a moment a couple of years ago that in just seconds changed my outlook, I guess you could call it my “ah ha” moment.
I have been a pretty positive person for quite a while. It’s easier to be positive when you learn to walk by faith and realize that God is ordering your steps (when you let him). When you close him out or forget that faith, the worry starts and the complaints begin to flow… but back to that moment because although inconsequential, it was so clarifying.
Dax was little, maybe 10 or 11 months, he never sat still (hasn’t changed much!), he was into everything all the time, and I’m sure I’d had words with Lily, but honestly I don’t remember what got me to that moment, just that the day had been bad. Dax was in the bathtub, I was sitting on the toilet (lid down, thank you!) and he started to splash...not just a little splash but the kind of splashing I imagine comes before a tidal wave or a hurricane. I put my head in my hands and began to cry. At that moment, Sophie, our dog nudged open the bathroom door and started to lick the water off the side of the tub, then the floor. Dax started to giggle, and splash more…I started to laugh through the tears.
I told myself to “suck it up” (a term of endearment I’m sure will echo through my children’s thoughts as they fondly think of their mother's common phrases).
I lifted my eyes and my hands upwards and simply said, “thank you Lord for the dog that licks up the splashes, and for the little boy who makes them”.
From that moment on I made the conscious choice to choose joy.
I am no Pollyanna, I do my share of complaining. I know that everyday there is sadness, everyday there are struggles. As time passes (too quickly!) more and more I realize that the only pot of joy at the end of this journey is the one in heaven, but joys on this worldly journey are all around us. Even in the middle of the busyness and the sadness, there is laughter, the smile of a child, a phone call, or a friend’s hug. If we take the time to see, hear, smell, taste, & feel all that God has laid on our path the ride can be an incredibly joyous one.
So as life is spinning around me, there are moments I may find myself wanting to sit and cry, but at the end of each day I want to see the joys, revel in the praises, and take these memories with me. When I started this it was just for me, but as it continued I felt I needed to share…so, if you've joined my journey, enjoy the pictures, feel free to find joy in my joys, but most importantly, each time you stop in, take a minute to revel in the joy on your own journey.
