One of those days...

You know those days, you know the ones where you come to the end and you are just glad it's done. The ones where in the middle of the day the praises are not flowing freely. By the end though, by the end there are most definitely praises. So I guess tonight I want to walk back through it so I can find the praises I missed along the way.

Still laying in bed this morning, two boys bouncing on my bed. One eating a granola bar, the other carrying a box of cheerios and a plastic cup, asking me to pour some of the cheerios into his cup. I kept asking them to hop out of the bed so I could say a quiet prayer and get up. From a distance I hear my daughter yell...."Hey, Mom, See ya later".

Let's stop here. I'm not a fan of little boys with food jumping on my head first thing in the morning, but I am a fan of two little boys who can find what they need and having food in the cabinets to feed them. There are sweet little 2 and 4 year olds out there in this world with no food in their cabinets, no cabinets at all, and they've probably never known what it's like to snuggle with their mom in a cozy bed early in the morning. I'm thankful that they were happy, silly even. There will be a day that those guys will have much better things to do than hang out with mom.

Ahhhh...when I hear these words come out of Lily's mouth and she has not come to my room before hand I know whatever she is wearing is not something I'm going to approve of. I called her back. She told me she couldn't, she'd be late. Hhmmm...I must have forgotten what time school starts or I really slept in! Finally she obliged and there is was a lovely non matching ensemble with shorts that were too short. It really looked as if she just picked up the first two things she found and tossed them on, but apparently she had put some thought into this. I made her change. She did a lot of griping, a bit of muffled chatter, and a bit of random yelling at anything that came in her path. We still did not agree on what she left wearing, but it was better than the first outfit, and she still made it to school on time. *warning, years of sweet "matchy. matchy Gymboree wearing may cause your preteen to rebel against all things that coordinate in any way. Just wanted you moms of sweet little Gymboree clad preschoolers to be aware of this possible side effect now...

I am eternally grateful to have a daughter. Growing up, there was nothing I wanted more. I am glad 5th grade is almost over and the summer break almost upon us. I am glad she is strong and artistic. Although these qualities sometimes infuriate me now, I know one day they will benefit her greatly. I know sooner or later it will dawn on her that if I didn't care I wouldn't argue with her. I have seen some amazing bouts of compassion and empathy in her lately. As I watch her struggles to find her way, it takes me back to those years of my own life. It makes me grateful for my own mom and for where I am now. Makes me also very thankful that I found a husband that would take on my issues. Mike and I just laugh when we think of what Lily's husband will be like!

I spent a little time with the boys, took a shower, headed to the basement to get everyone clothes and returned upstairs to a strange smell. I went immediately to my bedroom where I could see a little head sitting on the floor on the other side of my bed. This was definitely where the smell was coming from. The "hair basket," a basket full of hair accessories and other oddball things that occasionally get tossed in, that usually resides on my dresser was empty on the floor beside him. He was chomping on a Hall's cough drop that must have been at the bottom. He had also apparently decided to paint his toe nails a nice shade of hot pink. I must say, for a two year old boy he had done a remarkably good job. I picked up the basket, and sent him back to watch Sesame Street. I started to dry my hair and not 30 seconds went by before Dax walked in with a bottle of Benedryl with a child proof lid, open. He says, "Mom, Finny had this medicine at the little table". Finn now has the cotton from the pill bottle stuck to his Halls covered sticky fingers. As I was cleaning up the hair basket, he had apparently high jacked my purse. I sent he and Dax to the bathroom to wash their hands and I counted pills. None missing, I think...

Warm water in my shower, oh how I wish I could spend twenty minutes in this havenly place. But can you imagine if my shower was more than 4 mintues?? There was no nail polish on my carpet, my bedding, or any place besides his toes. Maybe tomorrow I'll get a picture of his nails...today was just not really a picture taking kind of day. Dax was incredibly responsible in noticing the medicine and confiscating it, immediately, reporting directly to me and not trying one for himself. He took the big brother roll and helped Finny clean up his hands. Finn did not eat any pills. It could have been much worse, in many ways.

My doctor's appointment was not what I wanted to hear. I have a CT scan scheduled for Friday. I will take all the prayers anyone wants to send. Seems my January surgery and the infections that followed may have caused more issues which may lead to more surgery. I was really hoping she'd just find some quick, easy to fix, explanation for some of the issues I've been having.

I didn't have to wait long in the office today. I had my wonderful friend, Sarah to take care of my boys. I had some quiet time to deal with some of the not so positive thoughts going through my head. There were so many people that I passed by today that looked like things where much harder for them than for me, those moments gave me a chance to pray for them, and their caretakers, and get over myself for a few minutes. And that is just it, there is always something worse. I may not be thrilled about this news, but I still need to be praying for others and not throwing a pity party for Marci. This doesn't make me happy about it, but I know God always has a plan, always. Whatever is coming can be used for His glory, every bit of it.

When I picked up my darling boys, Dax threw one whopper of a fit about how he did not want to leave. He yelled off and on until we got home. He was so worked up he ended up having an accident in his pants. This has only happened once before since he's been potty trained.

I stayed completely calm. Well, I did have a face to face, hand on the jaw conversation about appropriate behavior. But overall, I turned up the God music and let it soak in. I sang. I stayed calm all the way to the potty, he calmed down, and almost immediately fell asleep. He apologized later. I had some quiet time with both boys sleeping. I'm glad there are places he feels that safe and that happy that he doesn't want to leave. But, I'm open for suggestions on how to curb this kid of response, because I am honestly tired of being told that he wants me to "go away" when I come to get him from friends house. I'm tired of being embarrassed by that behavior. He is sweet as can be later, loving and gentle. I just wish I knew how to level this kid out.

The evening seemed to calm down a little. Finn was full of it, bouncing all over, fighting with his brother. They all went outside. They were finally enjoying themselves and each other. I went out and cleaned up some ride ons to take to church (clearing out a few more things from the garage for Mike), Mike helped the kids get the new climber arranged the way they wanted it. Things were good. The pizza guy came (yeah, you know those days). We were headed in for dinner. Dax and Mike were in, I had just stepped foot in the back door, Lily and Finn were getting off the climber. Then there was a crash and screaming. I turned back around, to see Lily scoop Finn ep after a face first tumble off the climber, about two and a half feet off the ground (I tell you this because my mother was envisioning a 6 foot drop, just wanted to clarify) onto the driveway. (we were planning to move the climber to the grass as soon as it was a tad less muddy, let' just say we moved it tonight) As she was bringing him to me he was screaming. She started yelling "Breathe, Finn!" I grabbed him, as I did, he stopped moving, passed out, his eyes glazed, his face had a blue tint. I yelled his name, yelled to Mike that something was really wrong and started running for the door. Mike grabbed the phone, started dialing 911, just as I hit the side door, he came to and started screaming again. This probably all lasted 45 seconds from the moment Lily handed him to me, until he started crying again. Those seconds seemed to be hours. I don't think I have ever in my life been so scared. Mike hung up the phone, he was so scared he had forgotten to push the "talk " button so the call had not yet gone through. We sat down with Finn, checked pupils, hand grip, made sure everything moved, and asked him lots of questions. After snuggling for 10 minutes or so he took some Motrin, jumped down and ran to the back for pizza. All evening since, he has talked, played, and done everything else like normal. He has a small lump and a scrape on his forehead and a little scrape on his nose. I imagine in the morning he may have a black eye or two.

The gratitude is almost beyond words. I am so thankful Mike skipped his meeting tonight because he knew I had a hard day and he didn't want to leave me alone all evening. I'm so glad he was here. I'm glad to have come across this article online tonight which calmed me and my mother, 3 states away, down. The description sounded almost exactly the same. He has held his breath before when he's been hurt, but he's never passed out. I'm glad the Internet gives you resources as to what to be watching for over the next days. I'm grateful to have a nurse in my morning Bible study that might know a little something about head trauma who I will be consulting with in the morning, hope she is ok with that! I'm thankful that he keeps waking up every time we go in and rattle him. Mostly I am beyond grateful for this child. For this little person who makes us laugh and cry. This little "bonus" that God gave us. Seeing him run through the kitchen with a smile on his face tonight was worth more than any amount of gold. It can all change, in the blink of an eye. In that moment it was so real, in that second life could change. Why do we waste days whining? Why do we choose to see all the things we don't have rather than the things we do? When I finally stopped shaking, all I could think was how blessed I am.

Thank you, Lord, for this day. For knowing my mom is right there even 3 states away, for knowing my husband and I are in this together, for giving me every precious moment of this life with these amazing little people, and for knowing when this one is done the one You have waiting for us is beyond words. Thank you, Lord, for this day ending with us all here together just like yesterday. Do you think maybe you could make tomorrow uneventful? =)