Dax is 3!!

Lily was our gift, Dax it seems was our miracle baby. They are 7 years apart. Between them we lost three babies, two miscarriages, and one ectopic pregnancy. We had moved a long way from home and were settling into our new world. We started getting information on international adoption. We of course, fell in love with the Steven Curtis Chapman packet (it had music and pictures!) and started filling out paperwork. We frequented precious.org and I often tried to explain to Lily why they could not just box up a pair of twin girls and express mail them to our front door. We decided China was where our next child would come from. Then one day Lily said, "Mom, I've been thinking about this adoption thing, and I've decided I'd really like one of the home made kind instead." I laughed! I told her we tried that route and it didn't seem to be very successful for us so maybe God had other plans for our family. She said she would pray about it. I told her to go right ahead. One month later, I was pregnant with Dax.

I had been pregnant before but now I was in a new place without the OB/Gyn that I loved and without my mom. Wow, God, this wasn't exactly the way I thought this should play out! I was terrified. Thanks to some girls I'd met who have become some of my very best friends I found a doctor quickly. Each day I got more and more sick, throwing up at every turn. Taking Lily to and from school was about the extent of my energy some days. Well, that and watching back to back episodes of Dawson's Creek. Going into a store with any sort of food made me sick, so Mike started doing all the shopping. Driving past restaurants made me sick so I tried to avoid it at all costs. I never felt like that with Lily or any of the other pregnancies. I think it was God's way of reassuring me everyday that he was still there, I was still pregnant. This lovely reminder lasted about 24 weeks. Then, I guess I started to relax and realize that this one was the miracle, this one just might make it!

Make it, he did! He was supposed to be born May 14, 2005. That would have been my grandfather's birthday. He was going to be named after my grandfather, it would be perfect. Yeah, we don't do perfect well! Induction started at 7 am and he decided to make his appearance at 1:17 am on the 15th after the c-section threat had been made. They handed him to me, I checked him out, then handed him back and threw up everywhere. It was by far the most fun labor and delivery I've experienced! But he was here, and we were so, so blessed.

I dreamt about him before he was born. I dreamt he was running around the room knocking over rocking chairs. I knew he'd be a mover. I think God knew he had to mentally prepare me for that! He had jaundice. It completely broke my heart when they kept sticking him and then locked him in the box. He is claustrophobic. I guess I don't know if he was then or that had something to do with it, but now there is nothing worse you can do than cage him. He always hated playpens. The nurses had to pad the sides of the incubator because at one day old he could crawl/wiggle/scoot himself off the edge of the platform and they were afraid he'd get his head caught. I heard them whispering about him they said something about that one being extremely active for a newborn. See, God gave me a little glimpse in ahead of time, he knew I liked to be mentally prepared!

7 pounds 9 ounces, 20 inches, the bluest blue eyes, and a full head of dark auburn hair, he was beautiful. He was all boy. He needed a name!

We started with 132 choices, seriously. I have a slight, ok severe name issue. We would edit the list with a survivor type game every so often. We'd battle it out. We had scoring systems and weighted votes so Lily had a say too. By the time his baby shower rolled around we had it narrowed down to 10 and we let our friends and family vote, not that we actually took their advice! In the hospital we were down to three. Ty, Dax, and Hudson. I have a brother named Dosh. To me when I saw Dax I immediately thought of my overachieving, athletic, friendliest in his class, confident, happy go lucky, positive little brother. It sort of stuck with me, and grew on people. But, that night after he was born, none of the names fit. I grabbed the original list, yeah, the 132. Mike said "No way! It has to be one of those three!" So Dax was it, because we'd never met a Dax, so this must be what a Dax looks like. All my kids have 4 names. The first is their own, even if it's connected to someone or something and the middle two are after people. His is Dax Henry Bender longhardtospelllastname. Henry was after my grandfather, great grandfather, and uncle and Bender was after my grandmother's family.

So, there he was, baby Dax. It took me a month or so before I started to really put he and the name together. I kept worrying I'd made a mistake. Now I can't imagine and better name for him!
He is full of life, laughter, exploration, motion, amusement, discovery, and wonder. I love this little boy more than I ever thought one could love a little boy (I was planning on all girls!)

He makes me laugh daily. I can't even imagine life without him!

We are so blessed and God's timing is perfect.

If I was more computer savvy I would have put these into a slide show in the post. I haven't yet figured out how to do such a thing and I could have gone on for days with the pictures, so enjoy the show!

6 months

Our first Christmas

We put this picture on a deck of playing cards for Uncle Ryan

This picture is the day the praises truly, memorably began, Here is the dog licking up the splashed and the beautiful little boy would made me laugh, cry, and see the blessings in each moment.
1st birthday
Chicago for Dosh's Graduation from Boot Camp


18 months

2nd birthday

First day of big boy Sunday School with his buddy, Max
2 1/2

He saw this picture and said "wow, I was handsome!" Think his confidence is ok?

Christmas 2007
3rd Birthday on his new climber

And of course a birthday post wouldn't be right without music! Dax has songs. The first one was his before he was ever born, when I knew he was a boy I started singing this one...

I know this one is a love song, but for me I just cried when I heard this version. I'd heard the song a million times, but I a week or two out of delivery and I just felt like the broken road did lead me straight here. Without all the heartbreak I couldn't have known this joy. Honestly it still makes me a bit misty thinking about those other little starts that broke my heart and pointed me to his little arms.


And finally, when I first heard this one I cried like a baby, the same way I did with I Hope You Dance for Lily.