And on to the crazy...
When we left for Ohio at about 4:30 on Wednesday the 23rd we were packed to the gills in this...
When we returned from Ohio at 6:00 on Sunday the 3rd we were packed to the gills in this…
I had been to the doctor to rule out a blood clot in my foot/leg but was told instead it was tendonitis and I would need a boot. This boot was hard to come by, at least somewhere that it might be covered by insurance. I made tons of calls, and was really frustrated with the whole situation. Mike had gotten up and gone into work early so that we could get out of town earlier. He came home and packed the van while I continued to make phone calls and whine. We finally threw in the towel and headed to the city to the west of us, to the hospital the furthest from our house to get the silly thing. This little jaunt would add an hour onto our journey, and have me not feeling overly Christmassy. Once we passed by our town for the second time and were officially "on the road" I apologized to everyone for my crabbiness, grabbed my blankie, made sure the kids had theirs and snuggled in for the long ride. It was perfect for a nap, the day had been crazy, the car was warm, the music was Christmassy, the kids were quietly drifting off, the night was dark and the rain was steady.
I remember hearing the feel and sound of the rumble strip. I remember hearing Mike's voice. I remember feeling as if the whole van would flip over and consciously thinking "please, don't flip", then a loud gnashing crunch. Seconds. Before I opened my eyes I remember thinking, ok, we'll just get back on the road and keep going. When I opened them I realized that wouldn't be happening, the airbags were hanging out...yet I don't even remember them coming out. Mike might. His face and chest became quite close with the airbag. It hit me then that the kids were with us. I turned, Lily was looking for her glasses, she was panicking a little, really just asking all the questions running through my mind, "What will we do?" "It's going to be Christmas Eve, how will we get to Nana's?" "Where are we?" "What happened?" "Sophie, is Sophie ok"? Finn sat staring at me with big eyes, I asked if he was ok, he shook his head, and then started to talk too. Dax had his eyes closed, I panicked a little and started calling for him in a more demanding voice, he opened his eyes and smiled. When I asked if he was ok, he responded with his most common phrase "I'm hungry." I started to breathe again. We found some cookies that had been in a Rubbermaid container that flew through the car and whacked Sophie on the head. Sophie, who had also been asleep seemed to be a little sore, but bounced back quickly.
While I was taking inventory of the occupants, Mike had jumped out to see what the situation was and to talk with a kind stranger who had stopped to help. The kindness of strangers...isn't that what it's really about? He was around our parents’ age. He told us his daughter was on her way from Pennsylvania. He had parked his vehicle between ours and the road, he called 911, and he stayed by our side until the police and the paramedics had arrived. When they made it, he came to my side of the car gave me his card and told me if there was anything he could do, please call him. Thank you, Jerry, you were one of God's human angels that night. A dad figure standing between us and oncoming traffic, making the wait with us. I'm sure he didn't set out that night to be used in such a way, but even if his presence seemed insignificant to him, it was not to us.
A couple of nice police officers drove us to the next town to spend the night at a hotel. Not exactly in the plan, but a special treat for my boys who thanks to their car seats had not a bump, bruise, or scrape and were feeling mighty fine. Finn jumped right in the "cage" stuck his head through the "window" and asked the officer, "do you have any friends?" this was followed by Dax stating "I like your little TV". Good thing our officer was young, kind, and liked dogs. He took the time to show Finn pictures of his dogs and even offered to help us sneak the dog into the hotel if we couldn't find one that would take her.
Once settled Lily was the best child anyone could have ordered up. She just shined. She was fetching, running, chasing, serving, nurturing, and loving. She had some minor seatbelt bruising but said it wasn't hurting. Mike and I were hurting, the boys were bouncing and she was such a blessing to all of us.
The evening was filled with phone calls and attempts to come up with a new game plan. Word to the wise, make sure you have a rental rider on your insurance. It is not an expensive addition and it will cover the cost of hotels, out of pocket expenses, and $1000 car rentals...lets just say we were not prepared for that kind of car rental expense and are so incredibly blessed that my brothers were up for a challenge. Ryan loaned us his van, Dosh and Jessy loaded up at the crack of dawn Christmas Eve morning and drove the 3 1/2 hours to rescue us. We are also grateful for those friends back at home who were standing by as a backup ready to drive to Danville and loan us their van. Thank you, Sarah, it's moments like those when you remember how God has blessed you with great friends!
Jessy sat scrunched in the back seat with Lily and Dax...God love that girl! Dosh helped Mike unload our van and move it into Ryan’s. He had even thought enough ahead to stop and buy a roof top carrier on the way so we could fit everything in. He also brought with him some ibuprofen, Neosporin, and some medic/emt perspective on just how blessed we were. He shared with us two things...one if we hadn't hit the drainage culvert in the median, he thinks we would have ended up in oncoming traffic, and two...he has seen this accident before with four family members in the vehicle, none of them in seatbelts, only the driver made it out alive.
Blessed. Again. On a logical level I understood this, even right after the crash. On an emotional level it has taken me more time. Last night at youth group, it all swirled around and landed on me emotionally. I had been worried that although I knew God was there, I knew he protected us, I knew it could have all been different, I didn't feel it yet. It was still just this annoyance, this hiccup that interrupted our Christmas. Last night I talked to a new friend about her little boy who was turning 1 today. And I remembered. One year ago today I was in the same place I was on the 23rd, in God's arms. Not just in a philosophical place knowing that God was there...I was in his arms. My family was being held. Loved. Blessed. Again. And I wonder what He has in store for me. He keeps coming to my rescue, in little ways every day and in big ways, really big ways. Last night at youth we sang this song the words resonated through me, and I praised Him for letting me feel Him there, letting me know that My God saved the day.
We then moved on to this song and I smiled a bit through the tears. This song always seems to come at just the moment that I need to know that both my heavenly father and my earthly father are somewhere watching over me.
Today I'm taking a little time to think about the anniversary of this little life that was part of our family for 5 weeks and 3 days, but only one of those days did we even know of his/her presence, such a very short time, yet still for that moment and all the moments after they in some way shaped our lives and our family. I'm taking time to think about how incredibly grateful I am to have each day with my beautiful children who are here with me and with my husband and my family. How grateful I am that He would swoop down and hold me in His hands, that I can feel Him there in the music, see him in the faces of those I love, and know that he has great plans for our family "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. And oh how he loves us...there is so much more to come!
