A Day Late and a Dollar Short, but I'm hopping on the soapbox anyway...

In some ways yesterday was just an ordinary day. My boys tossed legos at each other's heads. They played nicely together in the beautiful sunlight that streamed in the window. Well, at least for a few seconds before one took off with the other's possession and he felt the need to to chase him down while shrieking.

In many ways it was just an ordinary day. But in others, it was so not ordinary...

History was made. (Finn was not poking himself with anything dangerous, I promise!)

Two of my children watched with awe. The third was at preschool which allowed us to watch this historical event rather than Dora or Diego.

I wanted to post for you who did not hear it, Rev. Rick Warren's Prayer. I really just wanted the written copy but as I searched for it late last night, it seems to not be easy to come by. So, if you haven't heard it, please take the time to listen. I have no doubt that Rev Warren was placed just where he was supposed to be by a hand my larger than President Obama's.




I was going to post the words simply because I was moved by them. They gave me hope. A man I did not vote for was elected president. History that I am thrilled to see made in the election of an African American President gives me hope and I know gives hope to many who have not thought such things were possible. We have raised above our past on some levels, but on some other levels I am very fearful, because although I think Obama has some great ideas, many of his ideas are not so great. Many of his ideas are at direct opposition to my own. Hearing Rev Warren gave me hope, because I know that he does not stand beside many of Obama's choices but he knows that our God is bigger than any man and that our God knew that this man would be our president thousands of years before we did. So there is hope.



He was also very reassuring to me somehow because all morning there had been a knot in my stomach. Seeing all those people. there was a fear deep in my being for their safety. Only a few special people to me will understand this paragraph, but that is ok...the rest of you can skip ahead! For several days I again felt I should pray for the men who are like my brother. I hoped the sky would be overcast, snowing, but it wasn't, it was a blue blue sky. There were men who are like my brother sitting on the water just beyond all the hoopla. I had an overwhelming urge to call someone who understood and a name came over me. I am blessed that this friend, did not think me crazy, but instead understood exactly what I was saying and felt we should pray together over the phone...something I have never done. I might have been a tad uncomfortable, but God sent me to her and after I hung up the phone I felt very calm. After Rev Warren finished the Lord's prayer I felt peaceful.



What shocked me a bit, I guess because I live in this bubble of people who have the same faith I do. I surround myself in the blog world with others who have the same kind of convictions and love for my Jesus. Because of this when searching for the inaugural prayer last night I was blown away by the controversy that Obama asking Warren to do this caused. I read some horrible, hateful things. I also read a few blogs from those I deeply respect who had tones of anger towards the whole situation of this new president of ours. The biggest issues seem to be very simple, gay marriage and abortion. Last night after reading these things I lay awake in my chair (musical beds and a little incision issue that kept me up half the night)at about 4 am writing a blog about these issues in my head. It was a good blog. Really good. With scriptural back up and thoughts about love and kindness and this world we live in. It would have gone on forever. But now I'm here and I'm typing and I'm not sure those words are all right...

So I step up on my soapbox ...

But then again, I step down, because life happens and I've changed my mind. Not that I couldn't go on for a bit about my thoughts and feelings on these matters, but right now it seems other things feel more pressing. So right now, I will stop, and get over myself and tell you what I think the bottom line is. God Is in Control. Don't get angry, don't get fearful, start praying. Pray for our world, our country, our president, & those around him. Pray for their hearts to feel the pull of God, our God, our Jesus. this is my blog, and I will freely and loudly say My Jesus. He's my guy and Pastor Warren wasn't afraid to say that. I don't love you any less if you feel differently and My Jesus, he's pretty cool, he wouldn't love you any less either.


On a completely different note, these were some cool pictures I found on my camera card while uploading pictures tonight. The were taken by Lily, and I thought they were totally blogworthy!

Post 201

I know some people do big things when they hit 100 or another big number post. As I clicked "new post" I saw that this is number 201. I'm just gonna say thank you God for giving me the words to post 200 times and thank you all for listening!

My big praise for this day, for this week, is simple. My mom. God blessed me beyond belief by weaving me within her. At the drop of a hat she was by my side. She has been here for 10 days. She has done laundry, dishes, cooked, played, read, snuggled, sorted, folded, served, vacuumed, dusted, rearranged furniture, taken my kids to church, dealt with tantrums, break downs, and all out fits. She has stepped into my roll and I think, to be honest she might just have one upped me on the cleaning and laundry part. She just knows what to do. I never have to ask her to do something because she's already there. It's like she reads my mind. She loves my kids like I love my kids. She disciplines my kids like I discipline my kids...I never worry that I'm going to have to reprogram them after she leaves. Granted there will be rituals of our house that will go back to normal eventually, but over all she is such a blessing that if I could just hire her to move in I could be a real slacker...like I have been for the last 10 days (ok, it's been slightly legitimate. No matter what, I will miss her and am so grateful that she has been here for so long!

I am also grateful to my brother, Ryan and sister in law, Carly for making the long drive this weekend to not only retrieve my mom but to spend time playing with my kids. The little people are greatly enjoying them. Ry and Carly need some little people of their own. This is one prayer I have been praying for them for a long time!

I do have a prayer request for you...Finn isn't feeling well. He is breathing fine, but seems to have an owwwie tummy. He's having trouble sleeping and just hasn't been his happy self today. I also am currently running a fever. I'm having trouble regulating body temperature, trouble sleeping, am exhausted all the time, and am having some headaches. I'm not sure if losing one ovary can totally whack out your hormones, a lot of it has to do with all the blood i lost, or if I've picked something up, but either way, will you keep us in your prayers? I really want my mom to be able to go home not worrying about us. I want her to be able to leave tomorrow knowing we are ok. Mike's mom will be coming on Tuesday for a few days which will really help with the kids and Will really help Mike feel good about leaving us all to go to work. Just pray with me that we will all heal and be healthy for a while. I'd love to get back to life as usual and maybe get out there and look for a house soon!

ps...I sure hope all of my big girls had an amazing time on their girl's retreat this weekend! You have all been in my thoughts and prayers all weekend long! Love you!!

pss...Hayley I'll be tracking you down! Mike's mom will be here Tuesday afternoon, so I would love for you to come hang with us in the morning if you're up for it!

Praises...

Mike and I made it to the doctor this morning without freezing. We even made it early and did not get stuck in the black hole that can be my ob/gyn's office. We were in and out of there is just under an hour with a pretty good report.

Ryan and Carly made it in just now. They are here to add a little fun to the weekend and take Mom home on Monday...not that I'm ready to see her go, but I bet she could use some sleep without a three year old in the bed.

Three days of snow that have kept us mostly housebound. This although usually this might make me stir crazy, it has been great for two little boys who's world was totally out of whack for a while.

It's 40 degrees warmer tonight than it was this morning...heatwave I say! 20 degrees! We won't know what to do tomorrow when it hits 28!

Tantrums seem to be on the down swing, hugs on the upswing...this is good!

It's time for bed, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Snow Day!

Praises...

I think this was the second day since we moved to this town that there was no school! I'm sure it had nothing to do with it being a wind chill of -35. The praise is, Mom, the kids, and I had nowhere to go. Snuggled under blankets and playing (or watching entirely too much TV) was warm and cozy!

Catching up on things DVRed. Really, I watch so little TV anymore that the stuff I have banked to watch is probably way more than I could conceivably watch in a month. This week I have actually watched more than I think I have in 6 months. the good thing about this is the DVR is clearing out!

Comments! 9..did you see that? I had 9 comments on my last post. I think that is a record. Not that I blog for the comments, but really there is some weird rush to it. I also believe that it may have been the first time my husband has commented on my blog. I've been blogging for almost a year people...that's big! What's also amazing is the love pouring out in those comments! Let me just say, THANK YOU I feel incredibly blessed!!

Phone chats with friends from afar. They don't happen often enough but when they do it is a wonderful thing!

Waking up late after actually getting a little sleep (which has been rare here lately) having a cup of hot tea and watching my mom sitting on the floor playing with three beautiful children as the sunlight reflected off the bright white snow into my family room. Listening to them giggle and play together just filled my heart.

Watching 155 people walk off a plane after it crashed. They almost died today. And then it hit me, a week ago, had I not returned to the ER, I would have died too. So 2009. God has some big plans. He has saved me and many others for His great purpose. What am I am going to do with that? Gratitude is a start but there is more and I know you are all part of this ride for me and I am so, so grateful and so, so blessed.

My husband. Watching him work from the moment he gets up till he crashes at night. Maybe I just didn't see it before. But I see it now. Last night for our 14th anniversary I giggled about what love really is. If someone had showed us a video of what this anniversary would have looked like then, me laying on the bed, airing out my wounds while we chatted about new websites, interrupted by him having to go discipline a 3 year old, followed by him helping me bandage and bind my stomach (I know TMI) would we have still done this? To my girls who are dreaming of great romance...remember this...a man willing to hold your hand in a hospital room, and bandage your not so attractive battle scars is a very different definition of romance, but he is the guy you want.

A few little notes...

Hayley, I may need someone or ones to come hangout at my house on Tuesday while Mike is at work...

Sue, if you're out there somewhere, you where way on my mind tonight. Have you ever thought of going to Africa...

January 14th...

January 14, 1990 This guy I had been friends with for a very long time who had dated several of my girlfriends and had actually only stopped dating my oldest friend weeks before, asked me to "go with him". I was a sophomore in high school. He was a Freshman. That morning at Sunday school I had walked around the corner and caught him kissing yet another girlfriend of mine...i was hesitant, yet naive and trusting and I couldn't resist his charms. Later that night after youth group, i had my first kiss...I almost threw up.

January 14, 1993I was a freshman in College. That guy, he was a senior in high school. We'd dated 3 years. Many seemed surprised that we'd made it so long. We wrote lots of notes, talked for long periods on the phone, and spent most free time together. We also shared most of the same friends and the same amazing youth group. We had no doubt we were in it for the long haul. We went to dinner at a very nice restaurant but opted for deep dish pizza to celebrate our third anniversary. Sometime during dinner that night He opened a ring box and slid it across the table. I just smiled. Our waitress (a girl we went to school with) shrieked and seems more excited than we were.

Truth be told...only a few close friends know this truth...Mike had proposed to me one day in October. I was home sick from school. He rode his bike over after school...this was forbidden, but we're married now, so does it matter? I was in bed, looking and feeling like death. He told me he wanted to be with me forever. This is real love. I said yes then.

The official engagement with ring and public announcement was the night over pizza.

January 14, 1995Show tunes from Phantom of the Opera, Pippin, and Les Mis drifted from the piano welcoming people into the church. My baby brother lit the family candle to this song ...



Our brothers Ryan and Jeff escorted our Moms in to a slightly more up tempo version of this song...



My dad held my arm and walked me down the isle to Canon in D he cried. I cried. After the ceremony he stood up to kiss me on my way back down the isle...I really wasn't sure what he was doing. I miss him.

During the ceremony there were three songs. One was written by a good friend of ours who happened to be both of our gifted teacher growing up as well as the church choir director and the high school theater director. We felt honored that he he not only let us use his song but sang it for out wedding.

There were the other songs, sang by close friends, although I couldn't find a great version by Geoff Moore and Steven Curtis Chapman, here is one of my favorites...



We left the church to a loud and beautiful burst of music that went something like this...



One of my bridesmaid's families owned a florist. She had been saving rose petals for weeks. We packed cones with them before the wedding and they filled the air as we made our way through the rainy, warm, January night.

The reception was filled with dancing and fun. Young children drinking from the campaign fountain...not knowing there was anything "grown up" up in there. There was a minor punch on wedding dress moment, and believe it or not, my little brother who had been drinking from the for mentioned punch bowl was actually to blame, not me! We danced and laughed and had a wonderful night.

We started the night and ended it to a song that was and still is "ours". Pick that song careful girls, it can carry you through all sorts of things! Big hair and all can't ruin that!

For some reason this song has had it's embedding disabled..go figure!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDgkg7lbMgg&feature=related

Price Of Love
Bad English

Girl, sometimes it seems to me
That I don't say the things I should, to you, I act like I'm no good
You wait for me patiently
This house is not a home without you, it takes two hearts to share

Your eyes will always see through me, and bring me to my knees
And I will always turn to you, you're everything I need

And thru the good and bad times, you have always been there
We hold each other close, you tell me it's alright
The nights we fight about it, never dream of givin' up
That's the price of love

Look, sometimes it makes us cry
Forgive me when I get it wrong, sometimes it's hard to be that strong
And oh, I would do anything
For you I'd turn the stars around, I'd find a way somehow

This time, you see I built a bridge to you again
Love shines, we'll sweep away the past
We're more than lovers, more than friends

And thru the good and bad times, you have always been there
We hold each other tight, you tell me it's alright
The nights we fight about it, never think of givin' up
That's the price of love

Your eyes will always see through me, and bring me to my knees
And I will always turn to you, you're everything I need

And thru the good and bad times, you have always been there
We hold each other close, you tell me it's alright
And sometimes I can't give enough, that's the price of love

That's the price of love, that's the price of love
That's the price of love...


January 14, 2009 19 years since that first kiss, 16 since the fancy pizza dinner, and 14 since we shared all that music with those we love. Lily says it's our "Golden" aniversay since it's 14th on the 14th. Whatever it is, all the music still fits and it still makes me a cry. So many years. So many people. I still wouldn't change a thing. I love you...

A boring post...

This is by request.

Today I went no where.

I didn't call Mike at work, not once.

I took a couple of naps.

My kids went to school. Good friends brought them home. Only one had to firmly deposited in my living room.

My mom went to the store. She made dinner.

Finn took his new medicine with no qualms like a trooper.

We watched American Idol.

All is well with the world.

Praise God!!

Sometimes if you don't laugh...

..you might just cry!

Home from the hospital and on very strict restrictions this morning brought a trip to the far north side of the big city to a recheck for Finn. Had I not been so worried about him I probably would have tried to move it, but being that I had Mom to drive and carry people and things, I thought I we could do it!

We made, a bit late, but we made it! The bathroom was a much longer walk than I remembered and I'm guessing it wouldn't have fallen into the "you can get up and walk around the house a couple times a day' orders i had from the hospital. But Dax and I had no choice..we had to go. By the time we made it to the office I thought I might pass out, Dax helped things along by flipping the light on and off while the Doctor talked to me, a little bit of a strobe light effect, it was cool.

The doctor kept asking me if I needed a wheel chair to get back out to the van...I must have looked really good! She must have posed this question at least half a dozen times!

I sat with Dax waiting for mom to pull up to the door. He repeatedly pushed the handicap button to open the door...you know I don't seem to get to far with a soft spoken, "Dax, please don't do that". He seems to know there isn't a darn thing I can do right now. I'm afraid a few weeks from now he's gonna think I'm really mean.

Mom came. She looked a little sick to her stomach as she mentioned something about a flat tire. yeah, really. A completely flat tire a half hour from home when I'm not even actually supposed to be out of the house and we have two boys acting slightly like heathens running the van.

We called Mike...God love this man. You know, I bet he's hoping I never call him at work again!

He works about 20 minutes away. We sat. Good thing I don't drive a clean van. Cleaning the trash up gave the boys something to do. Occasionally you heard "Oh! Smarties! one for you, one for me" coming from the back seat. God love Mrs. Addis and the occasional leftover smartie. God love my mom for not being totally grossed out. Thank God for laughter.

For a moment I thought what in the world is God doing? Really, really a flat tire? It was actually off the rim. My mom looked at me and said, "you know, we could have been on the highway on the way here." She's right. We sat in a parking lot. We all had blankets. My car has slightly less trash and lots less leftover goldfish hanging out in the carseats. Mike came. He changed the tire in his good coat and his work clothes in 20 degree weather. He never complained.

We rebuckled. We headed out looking for a gas station to check the pressure on the spare. Nobody mentioned that the excess fluids in my body after all this would come with a vengeance. We had to pull into a hospital as we drove by, because I was afraid of having an accident...I'm 34. Dax, he needed to go too. Nana took him, he came out after visiting the snack center with a bag or Cheetos, Frito's, and a box of Jr. mints. Finn squealed with delight. These are the days.

We made it home. I sat down on my bed to take off my shoes. Next thing I know it was two hours later. I guess my body wasn't ready for gallivanting around the countryside. But it was not without a purpose!

Praises!

We made it to the doctor and home with only a few bumps and bruises and a lot of answers!

Finn's bloodwork came back with real black and white answers. He has probably not had pneumonia over and over. He has been experiencing extreme asthma attacks. These attacks have been brought on by only one thing and it is concrete. His allergens are all very low, except one. He is extremely, intensely allergic to mold. This is no shock. There was massive flooding in our home in early September and all of these attacks have come since the end of September. We have some new meds that may help hold these reactions back for the time being but we know that if we can get him away from the mold we can stop this. **insert prayer request** when we moved here we rented this house thinking it was perfect for the three of us. Our family grew. The neighborhood is nice, it's close to the schools, it's safe. Mike is not one to move forward without a very good reason. I looked at houses, we stayed. Our landlord passed away in September. Her husband has taken over the property, and although we have made several phone calls we have tried to stay pretty patient because we know he is going through a lot and we did not want to be thorns in his side. But now we know, with 100% certainty that this house is making our baby sick. It's time to go. Easier said than done, there is no fountain of wealth hanging out in the backyard and as a stay at home mom we make a lot of sacrifices financially for me to be here. But as we have learned over the past days over and over again, the stuff, it doesn't matter, the people, they matter. We have been so greatly blessed and we know God has a plan and a place for us. Our eyes and ears are open. That house, it will come. But you know, I'm not even slightly above asking you all for your prayers!! =)

Wow, that was long and rambling! I should end this with my favorite moment from today when I just wish I had my camera with me! Mike opened the back of the van while we were sitting in the parking lot. Both boys (Finn in his crazy jester hat)went running back yelling "DADDY!" They leaned over the back seat and asked questions and just watched as he prepared to save the day. I wish I could have snapped that picture...the hero and his little followers! =)

Coming Home..

Praises...

A place to come home to with three little faces peeking out the window waving and smiling, yelling "Mom!" how I wish I had this moment on video, I guess in someways it's burned into my mind. How I missed them. Well, ok, maybe not all the chaos and tantrums, but i sure missed them, all three of them. And the dog too...

My sister in law who waited for me to make it home from the hospital today before she left for home. She ended up stuck in bad weather and her trip took longer than she expected. She checked on accident victims, called 911...her week was just one big thrill ride too! I love this girl, I hope she knows how blessed our family is to have her and how thankful I am for her.

Nurses who found time in their schedules to come in and chat, share, laugh a little. My 8th floor nurses were all pretty great people who work a hard job and and didn't complain...well, not too much! =) I am slightly missing people just popping in and bringing me whatever I want, crazy how that works!

Prayers. I can feel them surrounding me, from near and far. They are making this easier. Notes in the mail, notes on here, phone calls from people just checking in.

Friends picking up the slack at church. I must say, I am missing my Jr. high peeps something fierce...has it been forever or is this just my imagination? I have even had weird dreams about them! thanks you Traci for teaching today, I'll be back sooner or later, I promise!

My mom and Mike, without whom I would not even be able to function in this world. There are just here. They are doing it all without complaints, without a thought. God gave these two people to me knowing I would need them like no others. I owe him more than I could ever say for this gift.

Dax being so worried about hurting me. He wants to love, but he's afraid of my tummy and that "big cut". He keeps checking his belly to make sure he doesn't have a big cut. He read his monster feelings book three times tonight and wanted me to sing a little piano duet of Twinkle Twinkle Little star with him. He's a good guy, he just doesn't know where to put all his emotions. I hope life starts to head back to normal for this guys. 3 is hard! I'm so glad for those around him who love him anyway!

Snuggling with Finn at bedtime. Oh how I missed snuggling with his sweet little warm footy jammy covered softness. I also enjoyed watching him string a box full of bubble wrap all over the family room floor, stomping on it with all his might trying to get the bubbles to pop!

Time. Time to work through all the the things that I know are coming. Time to be grateful. Time to be with my family. Time to laugh with my friends, talk with my brothers, and type praises...

And sometimes they just flow...

...the blessings in the rain

Praises for Today

This week is simply about people. People who read blogs and face book. People who send out prayers at all hours. People who stop in to visit for a few minutes and end up in the wrong rooms, or have to wait while you shower. People who love you enough to clean your house, move large furniture around because they know you'd love to see something different when you come home. People who send love over miles and miles and hold you in their hearts. People who you never met and never planned to meet who are brought to your doorstep at just the exact moment God plans for them to be there.

I am so grateful for these moments when He gives me a peak at the tapestry of how we are all His and how he created each of us for this day, this moment. We are assigned to these times. What a gift that in the darkest shadows you can look around you and see His light shining stronger than ever.

I'm grateful for quiet time with my husband even if it is in the hospital late at night.

The laughter of my children, and their tantrums too. There has got to be some balance there!

Sweet notes and pictures brought to me by little hands in the hospital.

A Mom and sister in law arming my boys with vinegar bottles and paper towels and going to town on my house...these women they are amazing and I love them more than they could ever know!

The ability to type two handed again!

Being free of catheters, IVs, and the gift of a warm shower.

Phone calls from good friends, just to check in.

Visits. Flowers. Love.

Random silly stories and laughter.

The fact that I can see the highway while I use the restroom behind the curtain in my hospital room...privacy and 5 star accommodations at their best.

Knowing my kids are home, together, and safe.

People...it's all about the people.

Quotes of the day

Hmmm..well there were some good stories from hospital rooms next door, but that might break Hepa rules if I blogged about them.

I'm sure our esteemed Illinois governor would have a good quote today, but that would bring down the spirit of this place.

Funny..Dax was so grouchy all I can remember him saying was "i want my helicopter thingy" Loudly while visiting me in the hospital.

Memorable moments

Finn walking in in his little brown coat, crazy jester hat, and blue mittens waving with all his might, "Hi Mom". I love seeing him walk into a room.

Lily's sweet note and stability even though people are moving furniture in her house...scary for her!

Conversations that fall from the sky that will touch your heart for a long time.

The effects of percocet as it takes me from proficient typing to sliding off the chair! I guess that is my sign to climb into my bed. Thank you. All of you. you make this world a beautiful place to be.

Sometimes it Pours...

warning...typing left handed while laying in hospital bed, please don't hold it against me. I spent many hours yesterday in the er of the hospital finn is in with severe abdominal pain. pain like I've never known. I was diagnosed with a kidney infection and a pregnancy...and sent on my merry way. I returned to the er with worse pain radiating to my neck and shoulders and several experiences with cold sweats, nausea,cloudy vision, and almost passing out. I was admitted to the same floor as finn, because they kindly want to make it easier on us. Early this morning
brought emergency surgery for a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. A liter of blood in my abdomen. was causing excruciating pain. a few hours later, down one ovary, one tube, and one sweet little person not meant to stay here with us I am so thankful for my life and my many many blessings. as long as today has been I felt it needed recorded here. thank you all for your love.

Praises for the day...

People

truly nothing means even close to the people God gives you. The husband by my side never willing to give up. The mom and sister in law who drive from Ohio to sit by my side at a moments notice. The brothers who worry,and answer questions, and take care of things, and pray. the children who go with the flow and love with words smiles and prayers. the friends who pick up the slack, who visit, who sit with your baby at all hours of the night, who entertain you in the er, who sit in hospital rooms that make them uncomfortable, who put up with your kids tantrums and treat them like their own, who take them to school, who carry on with bible study just like you want them too. who love you with prayers from across the street, down the highway or states away. That goes for family too! For smart doctors, for kind nurses, for those with great reassuring voices in the or. For pastors who come and pray. or just chat. The right words, the wrong words, and sometimes no words at all. The people...how blessed I truly am.

life...

how precious every bit, every moment.in the shadows or right out for the world to see.

prayers...

from friends, family, children, and random strangers

waking up each morning being blessed with the knowledge that this is the day the Lord has made and whatever comes I will rejoice and be glad in it.

godly peace, knowing I don't have to be in charge

still a small mention for free Internet access from hospital rooms and people who will read this and not hold the typing and lack of grammar against me today.


finn was dismissed and seems to be in great shape****