Praises for a very healthy little boy and the things I've missed...

So, it's been a week since I've posted anything. I wish I could say I've accomplished amazing tasks in that time. I guess I have done few things, just maybe not amazing)...my house got straightened (notice I did not say "clean"? I've given up on clean or else my expectations of what clean is are too high). I started a group on Face book...that was a heck of a lot easier than I thought! I've been teaching myself how to use photoshop elements to make cards. I would not say I'm a pro, or even a good amateur, but I'm getting faster! Had a fun family night that involved cleaning under the furniture, watching a movie, and falling alseep on the floor (i love these peeps!)...

I've been on a grown up date to see Fireproof, finally!(Thanks to Cori) I have done some laundry, I have done a lot of my big Christmas shopping. I have made a little $$ on craigslist & ebay selling off some toys the boys have outgrown. I even met a very nice lady from a neighboring town who came to buy toys that I really liked. I'm thinking about emailing her just to say hello, would that be weird or what? I had both boys and my own hair cut, which would not have been possible without one of my favorite 8th graders tagging along for backup! Ive read a few blog posts. Ive prayed for random people who's comments touched me over at a really cool post on MckMama's blog. I have prayed. I have played. I have spent way too much time on the computer but have been in blog world very little. I have spent almost 0 time on the phone with anyone but my mom (and Traci, because she has been there to rescue me with Dax this week! Thank you Traci!) so I hope my friends think I still like them, cause I really do. I have taken quite a few pictures. and I have spent a lot of time praying for one little guy...

Which nicely segues into the next part of this...

If you know me currently in the real world you know that Finn has had 3 bouts of pneumonia/bronchilotis in the past 6 weeks. One of his doctors ordered some tests to see if we could find some explanation. He ordered tests for all sorts of immunoglobin deficiencies and a sweat chloride test for Cystic Fibrosis, as well as a few other labs. After a frustrating day yesterday, we finally had all the labs done this morning. Let me tell you, this guy, he's a trooper!

Results on everything were back at 3 this afternoon! Crazy, isn't it? I thought for sure it would be after Thanksgiving when we got the news. Drum roll...

All but one test were perfectly normal! Although, I'm not sure this guy is normal...






I was one very Thankful mommy today! This is the second time a doctor has been concerned that one of our children had a life shortening disease. when Lily was 2 she was sent to Children's with her doctor very fearful of a pancreatic mass. It turned out to be just poop! Her doc cried and laughed when she shared this with us. She had only seen this one other time in her practice and that family was not so lucky. I feel so richly blessed and at the same time it breaks my heart to think about those families whose phone calls are not so positive. Those families who leave crying tears of fear rather than of joy. It causes me to not only praise the gift of my children but to pray through tears for all those other moms.

The test that was a bit abnormal the doctor told me, is usually an indicator of a child with allergies...imagine that, allergies. Wow, I think that is one we can probably handle! She also said that she found it very interesting that all these lung problems started after we had major water damage in our house early in September, that mold could be triggering these things. I had asked this of another doctor earlier and he assured me that it couldn't cause pneumonia.

When we moved to Illinois we found this cute little house in this nice, quite neighborhood, close to a good school and we jumped on the chance to rent it. We didn't know if we'd like the area, we couldn't afford to buy at that point, we didn't know if wed be staying or heading back to Ohio. Now, four years later, we are still here. This is how it works with us. We were still in our 3 year house after 10 years in Ohio. Mike is not a huge fan of change, nor is Lily. I am not good at pushing them into it. So, this has turned into a very long prayer request! We need a house to almost literally just fall out of the heavens. Now I know this isn't completely impossible, cause That Guy can do anything, but I haven't recently seen any falling houses. We need it to be that clear and that perfect. So if you have a sec and you wouldn't mind, how bout tossing out one of those little prayers for a new house for Finny. Well, Finny and the rest of us!

I was going to share all the things that Finn can do now, because I need to write it down somewhere, but it will have to come later. Probably tomorrow when I should be packing to go to my in laws for Thanksgiving! I might even share with you my children's new super hero personas, aren't you just chomping at the bit? I bet you just can't wait!!

Tune in later, after I've had a few hours of sleep! im sorry this is so long, rambling, and filled with gramatical errors, but it's late...very, very late!

Genius, Genius I say!

I'm documenting this here, rather than seek out a baby book.

Finn has been bringing me the same book all day. It's a book with a fish that you have to find on every page. He's been able to find the fish on each page for quite sometime and since the only words are "Where's the fish? There's the fish!" I have grown quite annoyed with this book. today though, he keeps bringing it to me and when I try to read it he just flips the pages back to the beginning and yells.

After about the 25th time, I realized he wanted me to stay on the first page. Not the real first page, but the very first thing you open to which in this case is an olive green blank spread with the word "DISCARDED" stamped on it(yeah, it was a library cast off). Wow, this page is even more exciting than the fish! He then pointed at the last "D" in the word and looked at me. I said "D", he then pointed out the other two and smiled.

Patterns I say. This boy sees the world in patterns. He just kept touching each "D" with his finger and giggling. Then he went back and wanted me to identify the other letters, then he wanted to count them. This guy, he's something! I think I've been underestimating him!

Moments...

I took Dax to the church nursery today barefoot in his pajamas. I decided I was not wrestling him into his clothes today. He was horrified when I actually put him in the car like that. I guess he didn't think I'd go through with it. I thought I won. I didn't not. He decided once he was there that being in pajamas was cool. He had lunch with all the the United Methodist Women in his jammies, barefoot. sigh...

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Turn on the bath water

close the bathroom door

check on boys playing quietly in back, far from bathroom, without knowledge of running water

run quickly to the basement to find jammies hear boys running above you, clunking about

run back up stairs to Dax standing in the hallway giggling

go to open the bathroom door

realize it is locked

look at Dax

shake head

hear whimpering

realize Finn is in the bathroom, With the water running

panic

find screwdriver

tell Finn to just keep knocking on the bathroom door(so he'd stay by the door)

get half the door knob off, can't get door open

realize hinges are on the inside

start really panicking

beat the heck out of the door while crying

door opens

drop to floor as half wet toddler and damp golden retriever emerge from tiny bathroom

hug toddler

yell loudly at preschooler

cry

hug them both

praise God

throw them in the tub

get on with the night

hope Mike is having a good time with the guys (and honestly, I am not being sarcastic)

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Tonight in the car while scanning a large gaggle of tweens searching for Lily after a choir caroling event (who carols in the middle of November??)...

Me ~ ok, guys, watch for Lily.

Dax ~ My Lil?

Me ~ Yes, your Lily.

Dax ~ We don't want anyone else's Lil, just mine.

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Finding out after four years of living here that crazy people in this town light a tree and carol in the middle of November. Only now know because Lily sang. Wishing Finn was healthier so we could have gone out and enjoyed it...feeling guilty that my oldest sometimes gets neglected. Once upon a time, I would have been a group mom...

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Standing in the boys room between their beds as they fell to sleep. Finn stood at the side of his crib, me with my arm wrapped around him, rubbing his hair until his little eyes closed and he dropped to his pillow. Standing over them while this song played on their cd player




And once again, all of those mommy moments of today the good, the bad, and the ugly, I laid them down at His feet. And gave praise that everyday starts new and I, I have been richly blessed.

And now I am going to watch a movie with just my girl...

***update***

it was not a movie, it was Taylor Swift's making of her video, then Lily fell asleep.

This is why it is so easy to be so grateful at the end of the day...





...and for the record, I really am glad that Mike is out with the guys, he needed that. He's been pretty great over the last weeks with all the sickies and crazies in our house. I wouldn't want to be walking through any of this without him. I do however wish he'd come home soon because the garbage smells like something might have died in there and I'm not opening the lid again till he gets here...

One Day Early Last Week...

It was so warm. The wind was soft. The leaves were finally falling in our yard. Instead of blogging about it, we went outside and played in it, in shorts. How often do you make leaf angels in shorts? We visited with our pumpkins. The boys chased each other with sticks(please no one comment on my negligent parenting). We hugged some trees. We spent some time climbing, swinging, sliding, and then some extreme slide tricks (again, no parenting comments from the peanut gallery, please!). We rescued some imaginary squirrels from fires. We tossed leaves in the air and stood under them as they fell. We watched the leaves as they fell from the trees and blew off the roof. We looked up and talked about the blue sky. We just enjoyed the last real day of our beautiful Indian Summer.

Today the sky has been blue and other than some dampness, it looked like a rather pleasant day, not for wearing shorts, but a pleasant fall day. We were inside all day. Finn has pneumonia yet again. Next week we're going to be doing some more testing to see if we can find out why he's had three such infections in less than 6 weeks. So today I decided to think about that beautiful day last week and take the time to put the pictures up. It won't be long till the skies are greyer and the days colder, but I have to remind myself that these beautiful days of fall will be back before we know it! The boys will be older, if it's part of His plan it may be a different yard, but it will be back! Gotta love how that works!

Another day last week...

Can you tell I should have blogged more last week? Oh well, I'll get back to the pumpkin patch and Halloween eventually!

Last Friday, we had a handsome little guest. You can find out a bit more about him here. Once upon a time his family used to live in our town and they were pretty cool people to have around. They then left, headed east to the far away state of Indiana. I must say, I miss this boy's mama. Oh, I knew she'd do great, make lots of new friends, cause honestly you could not meet this women and not like her or at least find her incredibly amusing. Well, unless she was mute that day or something. It was nice to have her back on a Thursday night for a few hours and we loved that she had this conference she had to go to so she just had to leave this guy with us for the morning..it was such a put out and all! I'm sure the family he spent the afternoon with felt just the same!

I didn't know how my guys would react to an almost three month old hanging out. Dax's first reaction was simple, "Why didn't my friend, Claire, come?" After that he just wanted him to smile at him. Fussiness somewhat annoyed him. He really didn't care that Cooper might have a bellyache, he'd rather just watch Dora. Finn on the other hand, Finn was loving this guy! When he cried he'd run and get his binky. When he'd laugh Finn would laugh. When he fussed, Finn would gently pat him, or lay his head on his back. When he slept, Finn would toddle in every 10 minutes or so to check on the 'babeeee". It was so sweet I could hardly stand it!

And when he left...Finn waved and called "bye bye babeee". Dax, well, he didn't really notice till he heard the door shut. He then ran and looked out the window, screaming "Who took that baby? Where is he going?? I don't want him to play with Caroline and Charlotte, I want him to stay at MY house!" Guess he kind of liked him after all, or he's three and he's not big on sharing!

So, you know that I couldn't possibly have a baby here and not take pictures! That would be like asking me not to hug him. How would that be possible? And then, man, he had a messy diaper. You know what that means? Yep, almost naked baby pictures! (no babies were harmed in the making of this slide show)

This is what happens when you allow a class full of 8th grade confirmation students to "see" your camera!

We missed those of your who skipped out on us! But we still love you! =)

A Historical Evening filled with excitment...

Well, at least in Chicago... Dax and Lily stayed up for a bit tonight because it was a night of history, no matter what the outcome.

Lily sat online and found some site where she could color all the states red and then pleased with herself, went upstairs to fall asleep next to election coverage on her favorite Christian radio station.

Dax, after telling me that he did not like either of those guys (I guess maybe he's a budding libertarian or green party advocate) fell asleep curled up next to his daddy, who also fell asleep. (I was afraid if I shared the picture of both of them I'd be in trouble!)

I chatted with mom as the numbers trailed in, knowing in my gut what the outcome was to be. I think I knew it in my gut the day I saw Oprah beg her good friend, Barak, to announce his candidacy on her show.

I watched tonight as history was made. I gave thanks to be part of a country where we have the freedom to go cast our ballot. A place where children of all races, sexes, and economic levels can have the highest goals. A place where we can stand up for what we believe. A place where there is hope. A place where two men gave two respectful, hopeful speeches ending with God Blesses.

I may not have voted for our next president. I may have reservations about his authenticity. I will however be praying for him, for his family, and for those around him. Being the president of the United States sounds to me like a daunting, painful task.

Obama is a well spoken, intelligent man, who has a vision for our country. It may not be Obama who is that great leader, but those who are inspired to greatness by seeing that someone who is not older, white, or a man can be elected to the highest seat in our country by the people.

I pray tonight too for the McCains and the Palins who's lives were tumbled around as they followed a calling. Maybe by running, they fulfilled that call. I hope their families breathe a sigh of relief tomorrow that they can just be.

The bottom line is that as I woke this morning, before my eyes even opened these words circled in my mind (thanks to Beth Moore strongly suggesting I commit them to memory!)

He changes times and seasons;

he sets up kings and deposes them.

He gives wisdom to the wise

and knowledge to the discerning.

(Daniel 2:21)

I knew right then, prayers and voting were an important part of today, but ultimately the outcome of today has been known for years and years. Whatever it is, the true leader's name was no where on that ballot.

Skipping ahead...

I have a Halloween post and a praises post that I've been meaning to add for a good three days. Yesterday I posted nothing, I was trying to accomplish something at home. I did, but it all needs to be re accomplished today! Anyway, Traci checked in several times yesterday looking for something that I never got blogged and although it won't be nearly exciting now that she's had her own private preview I can at least post things I know she approves of.

I had the pleasure of heading out with the Sullivan Family Saturday afternoon to take some pictures. We trespassed a bit, but it was totally worth it! I'm learning and I'm not good at giving directions. I really just like to follow people and snap, but these guys, born posers! So, I probably will still post my own favs out of Traci's approved group because, it's my blog, right?

I'll leave the more posed Christmas card pictures alone so when she sends out cards it will be a surprise? It's too bad this family just doesn't photograph well, isn't it? And that Maggie and Max are simply not stinkin' cute!

Sending out morning prayers...

**update** Stellan has been born! This is from McKMama's site "Details on exactly how Stellan is doing as well as photos of the sweet baby will be forthcoming. But, let's just say that Stellan got a 9 and a 9 on his APGARS and the NICU team has yet to find a single thing wrong with him...

Happy birthday, sweet Stellan. You are God's miracle to us and you are finally here!!!!"

For more details head on over!


Today is a big day in one blogland family...

Baby Stellan is to be born today! He has been a miracle in progress for quite sometime. At 24 weeks doctors were sure he wouldn't live, now there is a 50/50 chance. As he comes into the world this morning, please send a prayers and good thoughts for peace and healing their way. Watching a miracle is an amazing thing! If you'd like to see something amazing, here is the link to some quick backround info and the prayer vigil being held.

While you're sending out prayers, here would be another good place to send them this morning. Nate, Tricia, and Gwenyth have had an incredible year. Tricia is in surgery right now having a lung biopsy. Please keep their family in your prayers.

I guess it's a big day in blogland. I think this place is a pretty amazing gift God has given us to allow us to connect on such an intimate level with strangers. Although they don't really feel like strangers any more. He's given us a way to love deeper, to care more for his children we may never lay eyes on. How cool is that??

This song has just been embedded in me lately, I thought I'd share it with you. I thought it only appropriate to share with you the version done by yet another blogger out there....



However I am also going to link you to my very favorite version. It is one I stumbled upon on youtube quite a while ago, and while probably not the "best" or original version it is simply the most raw, real version, and it's the one that plays in my head. (you know, where I can sing! =)

And the day goes on...

If you haven't read the beginning of this story, you may want to scroll down and start from the previous post. Or you may not have that much time!

***For the record, I'd like to preface this post by saying I'm not sharing for the sake of pity, nor do I want any meals delivered to my door. I'm sharing because the other option was simply to sweep this under the rug. I've gone that route before and it just leaves you wanting to yell at people. There is validation in sharing, so after careful consideration I've decided sharing here avoids people having to respond, because really, it's a hard thing to do! For those of you I talked to today and did not mention this, I love you, but it was easier to just not mention it! Traci...thank you for picking Dax up for me today, you didn't even know how you were helping!***


Remember my mentions of hormonal oddities...yes, I know, too much info. Well, I was sure last week's meltdown was due completely to that frequent friend who stops in for a visit. But she did not make her appearance. Although I thought this is was odd I kept waiting. By Friday I was starting to wonder. I have not been late since I found out I was pregnant with Finn. The weekend came with a vengeance and I just swept things out of my mind. By yesterday I decided things were definitely suspicious, but I'd give it one more day before going out and investing in a dollar store potty stick (if you read the last one, you know I already left my last $1.87 for the waitress at Steak & Shake

I even sat down with my journal yesterday morning to organize my thoughts. I always dreamed of having four children. From the time I can remember 4 was that number for me. So, there was a twinge of excitement. At the same time, have you met my boys? You read about how they are real boys in the last entry, right? They keep life hopping. Maybe I was thinking another year or two. But as I've said for a long time, I've never had any control over my fertility, God has always been totally in command there, I have learned to accept that.

So, what did I journal? I started writing. What came out was how I would be joyful to have another baby if and when He decided it was time for us, but that I would give anything to see my Brother and Sister in law have that joy in their lives. That if there was someway I could give that joy to them before it came my way again that would be so much better. I don't know if you've ever wanted a baby and struggled with that before. If you haven't, count your blessings. I think that is the hardest, saddest place to be. There is a desire there that is so primal, and even when you try not to let it rule your life, it does. I've been there. I'm so grateful, grateful doesn't even begin to encompass all that I am, that God chose to give us Lily, after 4 1/2 years of marriage, one miscarriage, and all my life dreaming of a perfect little girl. Then how overwhelmingly joyful I am that he decided to bless us with those two incredible boys after 7 years, fertility treatment, 2 miscarriages, and 1 heartbreaking ectopic pregnancy. He chose to make our family full of life. Sometimes almost overflowing! I want that for my brother and sister in law. Another baby would be an incredible blessing, but I want that for them first. But even I know that I am not in control and my timing is simple and human and by no means do I really know anything about the big picture. So I told Him, you know, the Big Guy, that if there was a baby coming, and there was some way he could send that little one to Ohio before I was too attached to the idea of number four in Illinois, that would be ok with me. And then I went on with my day.

When I pulled into the driveway from picking Lily up, a strange feeling came over me. As I started to climb out of the van I doubled over. I could barely stand up. I've felt this before. October 1995, February 2001, and August 2003. There was no doubt in my mind. I came in the house and I knew.

Funny thing is, this time my first thought wasn't one of complete sadness, of loss. It was one of simply knowing that God's timing is perfect. He has blessed us over and over again. He knows the why and the when. I can't help be slightly hopeful that maybe they'll be good news from Ohio. I know...that may be sound silly, but I can be hopeful, right?

October 15th Angie at Bring the Rain posted this in honor of the the National Day of Remembrance for pregnancy and infant loss. This includes all babies who have died because of miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or any other infant death. She asked anyone who had experienced this loss to please post, share, and pray. She had over 2000 comments. I was floored at just how much this post touched me. I guess because of how grateful I am for the children I do have running amok in this house, the sadness of the losses has taken a backseat. It's not something I think about on a daily basis, or even a weekly basis. It comes to mind on certain dates, or when I hear of someone else's loss. I know through all my losses God taught me lessons. Everyone of those little ones had a purpose and Angie giving us place to validate their existence, speak their names, truly touched me. So for that reason, simply validating that for a few weeks there was a little life building, I'm sharing. I feel even more blessed because I know you are listening.